Monday, March 30, 2009

Who said what?

“Whoever gossips to you will gossip of you.”
~Spanish proverb

Ok, I have to admit that this one stepped on my toes. My feet are crushed. I tend to be a little naive about people. I think that if I am doing the right thing, then no one will say anything wrong about me or I will be perfectly respected. WRONG!

I've noticed that people will talk about each other so readily. It shocks me sometimes. I will be in a conversation with Bill and David about something when they start talking about Susan. Two hours later, when David has left, Bill starts talking about David. What is wrong with this picture? I get very confused as to what people's true opinions are. I've been in conversations where very scathing things were said. My reply to them is normally along the lines of asking what they say about me when I'm not around. They very quickly try to assuage my fears by exclaiming how much they love me and wouldn't say anything about me and all sorts of other nonsense. I think, "Yeah right."

I guess I can't exclude myself from this. It is very easy to get sucked into conversations full of disparaging comments. People can be downright brutal in their comments. My reply to this is to try to change the subject or bring up good points about this person. You are going to be irritated by other people and want to share it with your friends. But, you have a choice. You can continue to dwell on it and share it with more people to make the other person look bad, or come to terms with it, apologize to the other person if it has harmed their reputation, and move on.

My point in choosing this quote is to re-warn people about those who gossip. You can get in a conversation with another person, but what is stopping them from talking about you? It is very probable that if they are willing to talk about their 'friends', they will be willing to talk about you. There are those who think, "Oh, well I don't have any dirt they can drag up." Good job!

One last point I would like to make is about those gossiping. Do they really think the person listening will keep it to themselves? I've seen so many people whine about things, only to be told on and end up getting in trouble.

I think no one is truly safe. Once you say something, it's out there and can, as my Mom says, "come back and bite ya in the butt". Be careful who is gossiping to you. They just might say stuff about you too.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Do you think before speaking?

"It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt." ~Unknown

I have to say that this is a common occurrence with me. I tend to blurt something out and not think about it beforehand. Or I will unintentionally lend credit to the fact that I can be an idiot. I guess it could mostly be because I think through something and ask a question that makes sense to me... but not to anyone else. I call these 'Duh moments'. Either I am saying it about someone else, or others are saying it about me. Let's look at some Duh moments.

Duh moment #1: I was watching tv with my family and we were talking about people's names. Some names are blatantly Dutch, French, English, etc. I was saying how someone's name looked Dutch and my sister said it looked German. I got to thinking where they were geographically. I started thinking about what countries could be around them and I blurted out, "Is Holland still a country?" My dad looked at me, chuckling, and said, "Still a country? Did someone go and take them over?" Translation: "Seriously? Is this really a question worth spending brain power on?"

Duh moment #2: When I am thinking through something, and make the mistake of talking in the midst of this, I misspeak. I tend to pronounce words wrongly. I was at work, and was telling my manager we needed to buy some more oregano for some of our food. Well, I was mixing up some things, and totally mispronounced oregano. It totally sounded like I was trying to say origami with a "n-o" at the end. My manger laughed at me- really hard.

Duh moment #3: My general manager was complaining about a headache and proceeded to tell me the reason. The lid to the dumpster had been blown backwards and was jammed against the wall. She went out to try and pull it free. She crouched beneath the lid, put both hands up to raise up and push it, and started to stand up. Well, her plan didn't work out too well. She popped up really quickly and didn't think to move her hands quick enough. Her head met the lid before her hands, which caused her headache. My co-worker whispered to me later, " How do you do that? How do you not think to move your hands to get there before you head?" Suffice it to say, my manager thought she had a concussion because her headache stayed for a couple days. She asked my co-worker if her pupils were really small. My co-worker said that they didn't look freakishly small, which caused my manager to start to freak out that they were a little small. My co-worker proceeded to tell her that if she had a concussion, then her pupils would be dilated, not smaller. This caused some ease for my manager and cemented the thought that she was not above duh moments.
These are just a couple of duh moments in the past week or two. There have been many times when I've been looked at and I know they are thinking, "Why are you wasting precious oxygen with your prattle?" Oh well. I hope to add humor to other's lives by my entertaining duh moments.

Swish= He scores!

"(Words of a loser) It's only a game..."
~Derrick Halback

March Madness is in full swing and it's hard not to get excited. Favorite teams are chosen, televisions are the hub of activity, and schedules are cleared for the many games to be played. I have to admit it is one of my favorite times of the school year. I love just sitting there watching teams battle it out and watching sweet moves!

This year I seriously filled out a bracket. I was quite proud of myself that I picked thirteen of the sweet sixteen right. My enthusiasm was dampened though when I talked to a family who had fifteen right. I don't really care! I can't wait for the games tonight and Friday. I have to admit that although I go to Purdue, Purdue isn't my favorite basketball team. They are good and I cheer for them, but my devotion lies with North Carolina. I'll admit I've been disappointed with their season, since they should have gone undefeated, but I'm cheering loudly whenever they are on (which is Friday night at 10!).

I've been yelled at by several of my friends for not showing much Purdue pride. I've even gone so far as to say I would buy dinner if Purdue won a certain game. They ended up winning and I was out a couple dollars. I have come a long way since then, even hoping they win past what I had on my bracket. But if it came down to it, if Purdue and North Carolina were the Final Two, I would have to cheer for my Tar Heels... and look for new friends since mine would hate me.

The reason I chose the quote for this post is because I have mixed feelings with the 'it's just a game' mentality. It seems like an excuse to slack off and not try. I believe in giving your all to whatever you are doing. If a ball is rolling towards out of bounds, you dive for it. It doesn't matter if you could scrape your knees or get a couple bruises. The goal is to work as hard as you can.

Another way of thinking of 'it's only a game' is that it shouldn't be the sole purpose of your life. Relationships are important; family is important; church is important; jobs are important, etc. I realize sports take up a lot of time; I played them too. My dad would always say to me, "Right now, school should be your focus, then basketball, then work. You have to look beyond this season and see what will help you later in life." I would put them in the order of basketball, work, and school. But, I realized I would always work. School was needed so I could go on with my life. Basketball was fun, gave me different lessons for life, but was only a short term activity.

I give my all to whatever I am in. It is a waste of your time to just do it partway and it doesn't help your teammates or coworkers. If you keep the mentality that you try your hardest in whatever you do, you will achieve more then you thought you could. Even if you fail, you will be admired for you perseverance.

Friday, March 13, 2009

People= Men and Women

One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man.
~Marlo Thomas

I have to say this is a quote I don't quite agree with. I have had a class that is going over gender and sexism. I will admit quite freely that I am sick to death of women whining about not being equal to men. I want to take this post to disprove some of the pro-feminist arguments.

One of the examples I hear very often is that women are stereotyped. Yes, they are.... but so are men! Have these women ever heard about jocks? Have they thought about stereotypical jobs? Have they thought about when certain words are used, they have a male connotation? Yes there are stereotypes everywhere. Blondes, single mothers, specifically dressed women, and more are so stereotyped. But stereotyping is universal, not specific to one gender.

Another 'problem' against women is how men degrade them. Women are thought of as sex objects. I hate to break it to the feminists, but what is it you are thinking when a really attractive man walks by? Do you not make comments about his muscles, his dreamy smile, or other such comments? Yes, women can be exploited by men. But don't let yourself be! Don't let other people dictate how you dress (provocatively or inappropriately) or getting into unwise situations.

This past year was an election year. I watched how the political feminists were cheering on Hillary Clinton. They were so excited for her to become president, finally have someone in the White House, and women's thoughts to be heard. When Hillary lost, women were crushed and angry. When Sarah Palin came into the picture, I thought everyone will be head over heels in love with this woman. Here is a woman who works in the government, is a well rounded person, is raising a family, and has done a fantastic job in Alaska. I thought this would be their dream come true. WRONG! They couldn't stand her! I was floored! Everything they wanted was being represented in this woman. This goes to prove that feminists don't know what they really want and they change their minds often.

Being a woman, I am ashamed of these ploys to gain power. I have always said that the minority is always the majority. When there is a group of people lobbying for something, they will be overrepresented by the media or themselves. In this case, women are quick to point out when something is sexist or against feminine roles. I feel bad for men actually because they can't say anything without fear of being labeled a bigot. They can be exploited and nothing would be done because they are 'the males and need to man up'.

Honestly, I think that there have been times women have been/are exploited. I keep in mind though that men are taken advantage of as well. If we all focused on just doing our jobs and using those that are the most capable, then there wouldn't be any problem.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tears are good things

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love.”
~ Washington Irving

There is a theory that men should not cry. Well, no one should cry. It shows you are weak, emotional, and immature. I think it shows quite the opposite. Crying can be a release for your very being and it can be one of the happiest gestures you can possess.

Let me start with the theory of not crying. I've heard a couple guys say it is weak. I was floored when they said this to me. I know that when I've seen men cry I have admired them. I had never seen my grandpa cry until two summers ago. My grandpa is a rather gruff man, who chops wood, is in great shape for an eighty year old, and won't allow for laziness. My family was packing up our stuff to move and a lot of our family was there to see us off. It was a very emotional time for us all, very tear filled. My grandpa tried asking my uncle to pray for us as we set off, and started crying. It amazed me- and made me cry. It showed his love for us in a totally different way than I had ever seen.

Tears can be uncomfortable. I know I feel at a loss when some people cry, but with my friends and family, I just want to hold them close. I want to fight off whatever is hurting them. I think that tears are also a way of saying you trust someone. I don't trust everyone with my tears. It is a very vulnerable thing to do. You don't know how someone will react.

Tears can also be happy. How many weddings, graduations, birthdays and more have gone on with people crying? I'm a sap. I have cried at several weddings and it wasn't because I was sad for the bride or groom. I was so happy for them and I couldn't let it out in another way. Well, I guess I could have whooped and hollered, but I'm guessing I would've gotten a couple dirty looks. Just a thought.

One of my friends recently got engaged. I love this girl so much and was so excited for her. I had tears in my eyes because I was so proud of her and excited for the coming nuptials. I think it means a lot to the other person when they see how happy you are, even if it includes tears.

Tears are a good thing all the way around. You can feel such relief by just sitting somewhere and crying over some hard things in your life. Sometimes, it's even better with a friend there to show support. Other times, tears are such a healthy way to show happiness. Don't worry about offending the other person. They will probably be just as happy, even if you have a couple tears.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Work, work, work

Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun.
~Colleen C. Bassett

Work is something that everyone has to do. It is talked about as a nuisance and a pain. I would like to show you some of the ways work is fun. It all has to do with your attitude.

I work at a restaurant. I will admit that it is a pain at times, but then again, what can't be? Dealing with customers, dealing with coworkers and managers, figuring out work scheduling with school, and dealing with the inevitable stress that comes along with it. Sounds awful right? If that's the way of thinking about it, yes it would be horrible. But, if you think of it as an opportunity to better your social skills, your teamworking skills, time management skills, and coping with life pressures, then you will enjoy work.

In order to enjoy work, you need to be flexible. Your coworkers will disappoint and not get the job done. Your manager will handle situations wrong. Customers will be downright rude and annoying. You will feel tired of doing it. It is so important to look past nonperfection. I'm not saying to be a doormat. I'm saying you have to allow for the bad things.

Another thing that is important is your work relationships. You have to have fun. My coworkers and I do so many fun things throughout the week. We try to lock each other in the cooler, we try to sneak up from behind scare each other.

One of my favorite times I had at work was Christmas Eve. We were closing early so the same team that opened the store was closing it. As the work day was winding down, we all started to get a little silly. Ice was the weapon. I had several pieces of ice shoved in the back of my shirt. The bad part about that was that my shirt was tucked in. So the piece of ice was stuck in my shirts and melted there. This caused a big wet spot on my pants... and you can guess what it looked like. I was later on sprayed by our pre-wash sprayer. It wasn't a big spray, though. I quickly grabbed the other sprayer and hosed down my coworker. He stood there for awhile, thinking I was just going to quickly spray him. But, revenge is so sweet and I couldn't help but keep spraying him... for a long time. Eventually he got the fact that I wasn't going to stop until he moved. he ended up being soaked. It was highly entertaining.

At another restaurant I worked at, we had fun with our headsets. We would press our buttons to talk to each other when the customers weren't in the drive thru. We would sing songs back and forth. One night I started quoting lines from Forrest Gump. It was also useful to talk smack to people when they were in the back rooms.

It is very important to make sure you are treating the customer well. I have always tried to greet the customer with a smile and try to make them smile. The ultimate challenge is to make them laugh. The regular customers are fun to joke around with. And the customer always
appreciates feeling important.
Work can be a good or bad experience. Hopefully, some of these stories have helped you gain an insight into how you can make work fun. By smiling, or playing pranks on other coworkers, you can make your day go better.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Do you really mean that?

“It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.”
~Henry Louis Mencken

I don't care who you are; this has happened to you. You look at your friend and think, "I bet they're lying about that." I've had many instances where I think the other party is lying because it would be so difficult to be truthful in that circumstance.

One of my friends and I were having a pretty serious conversation the other day. We were asking how the other felt about the topic and I have to admit it was hard to believe my friend. I know her well enough that her answer didn't match up with what I knew she was like. But, she insisted she wasn't lying and I chose to believe her.

I think not many people are willing to see past their own ideas, and just believe the other person. It's hard. I know I would want to just make light of the situation or fudge on the answer a little bit. But, I have to believe that my friend was being truthful. I trust her enough to believe her over my own feelings.

It is so key in relationships to believe the other person. I will admit I have not been completely honest about my feelings at times. So I know that it is very easy to lie about your answers. It is easy to lie about your feelings on topics or arguments. It takes hard work to purpose to believe what you feel is untrue.

I have had friends who would look me in the eye and say, " ok, why aren't you being honest anymore?" I guess I reach a point where I give 'pat-answers', answers that are generic and not heartfelt. And I know that there are times they purpose to take me at my word. I do the same for them.

Basically, it is a choice whether or not you will believe one another. It is harder to choose to believe when you would lie in their place, but in the long run it helps your relationships grow stronger.