Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tears are good things

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love.”
~ Washington Irving

There is a theory that men should not cry. Well, no one should cry. It shows you are weak, emotional, and immature. I think it shows quite the opposite. Crying can be a release for your very being and it can be one of the happiest gestures you can possess.

Let me start with the theory of not crying. I've heard a couple guys say it is weak. I was floored when they said this to me. I know that when I've seen men cry I have admired them. I had never seen my grandpa cry until two summers ago. My grandpa is a rather gruff man, who chops wood, is in great shape for an eighty year old, and won't allow for laziness. My family was packing up our stuff to move and a lot of our family was there to see us off. It was a very emotional time for us all, very tear filled. My grandpa tried asking my uncle to pray for us as we set off, and started crying. It amazed me- and made me cry. It showed his love for us in a totally different way than I had ever seen.

Tears can be uncomfortable. I know I feel at a loss when some people cry, but with my friends and family, I just want to hold them close. I want to fight off whatever is hurting them. I think that tears are also a way of saying you trust someone. I don't trust everyone with my tears. It is a very vulnerable thing to do. You don't know how someone will react.

Tears can also be happy. How many weddings, graduations, birthdays and more have gone on with people crying? I'm a sap. I have cried at several weddings and it wasn't because I was sad for the bride or groom. I was so happy for them and I couldn't let it out in another way. Well, I guess I could have whooped and hollered, but I'm guessing I would've gotten a couple dirty looks. Just a thought.

One of my friends recently got engaged. I love this girl so much and was so excited for her. I had tears in my eyes because I was so proud of her and excited for the coming nuptials. I think it means a lot to the other person when they see how happy you are, even if it includes tears.

Tears are a good thing all the way around. You can feel such relief by just sitting somewhere and crying over some hard things in your life. Sometimes, it's even better with a friend there to show support. Other times, tears are such a healthy way to show happiness. Don't worry about offending the other person. They will probably be just as happy, even if you have a couple tears.


  1. I totally agree with you. For example, when Brett Farve was "retiring" from the NFL was a major moment in his life. He let out a few tears and everyone criticized him for it. But if you think about it he has been in the NFL for such a long time that it had become part of his life.

    I think that there is a time in which it's okay for a guy to cry, I don't really understand why society attempts so hard to desensitize males to the point in which they fear showing their emotions to others. It just doesn't make sense to me, if you feel a certain way you should show it!

  2. I completely agree with you. What I don’t understand is how some guys feel like they shouldn’t hold in their feelings, so when they get angry, they lash out and often become violent. However when we’re really happy or sad, it suddenly becomes unacceptable to do anything but keep our feelings to ourselves and hold back tears. Kind of ironic. I guess that is just one more thing society got wrong when socializing us. For some reason, when people cry it seems to actually show more power, not weakness. I think that we’ve had it mixed up for a long time now.

    Basically, what I'm saying is that I agree with you, and it is a good post.

  3. Everything about this post is so true. The media today portrays men crying as a gesture of weakness and frowns upon it overall. I think it is just the opposite. When I have seen men cry, it shows that they are human and possess the same emotions as everyone else. Crying can be a really great release and I believe it shows strength in a person. When I saw my dad cry for the first time it was right after his mom passed away and it was natural for him to express himself that way. Really great post.