Monday, April 20, 2009

Until another day.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow"
~Romeo and Juliet, Act 2 scene 2
As this semester draws to a close, I reminisce over the many posts we have written. Some have brought tears, others laughter. How can I sum up what I have learned or what I have spoken? I thought to wrap up all these thoughts in a blog full of short insights and quotes I couldn't touch on throughout the semester.
“No man, for any considerable time, can show one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally becoming bewildered as to which is true”
~Nathaniel Hawthorne
I've been re-learning the whole idea of being yourself. Yes, you want to impress people like any other human being. But, at what cost? Changing your whole identity is not the way to do it. When I moved to New York, right before my seventh grade year, I didn't fit in. I had amazing grades and worked hard in school. I was ridiculed by my classmates because of my want of high grades. As any young teenager does, you want to be accepted by your peers. So, I purposely tried to get not-so-great grades. I regretted it years later. I sacrificed a part of me, my grades, in order to have a different persona in front of my peers. Eventually, when you want to become the real you, you either don't remember how or you confuse those around you. They only know the 'you' that was put in front of them. The two cannot be reconciled. We lose so much of ourselves by trying to fit in.
“A very popular error- having the courage of one’s convictions: Rather it is a matter of having the courage for an attack upon one’s convictions.”
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Wow. I think this is a powerful quote. It is so true! Being brave about your beliefs is a hard thing to be, but an attack on your beliefs? Here's a slightly silly example. Suppose you hate pepperoni pizza. You state your opinion and have enough courage to stand by it. The hard part could be when people start yelling at you for having such a preposterous view. Being courageous, is maintaining that view point. Some might fold in the opposition and mumble, "Well, it isn't really that bad. I don't hate it. You have a point. I'm an idiot."
I've thought about it a lot and know that sometimes I fail to have that courage. It can be so easy to mumble an answer that I don't mean, while hoping no one yells at me for actually stating my opinion.
"Don’t make someone your priority when you are only their option"
A friend of mine posted that quote online awhile ago and it made me think. Growing up, there were always the cool kids. They were the ones that were popular, all the kids wanted to be their friends, etc. Because everyone wanted to be their friends, they would do anything to be considered popular. My question is why? They obviously don't want to be your friend unless you change. As soon as someone else comes along, they'll leave you as quickly as they came to you.
In high school it is the same thing, only can be slightly more subtle. You have lots of friends with whom you are closer to some then to others. There are some you work harder on that friendship then others. Let's just say you really want to be friends with Betty. She is friends with you; you are friends with her. When you hang out, you have fun and trust each other. Now, what happens when you are in school where there are lots of people around. Obviously, you try to talk to Betty and in your mind, the friendship is the same. But to Betty, she has more or better people to talk to, so she ignores you. This is a good example of someone making you their option, when you are making them a priority.
"To be trusted is a better compliment then being loved"
Obviously it is good to be loved. But, loving someone is a common thing. Trusting people takes work. Think through all the people you 'love'. There are several degrees of love, and with those degrees, come more trust. I love my friends, but that doesn't automatically mean I will tell them everything. You won't tell just anyone about some horrible things that are going on. Why? You love them don't you? It is because you don't trust them as much as someone else.
I would rather be told I can be trusted then having a friend who says they love me, but won't tell me anything about their life. I think that love and trust go hand-in-hand. You cannot love to a certain depth without trust. I have friends that I know would do anything for me. If I was doing something wrong, I know they would point it out and get me back on track.
I've had people show that they've trusted me without having a real relationship with them. I was able to be trusted, even though we weren't close because I had proven through my life I wasn't a liar or a gossiper.
“Sometimes we deny being worthy of praise, hoping to generate an argument we would be pleased to lose.”
~Cullen Hightower
Okay. When reading this quote, either you or someone else pops into your head. We all know someone who loves to be loved. That person will have fake piety, while hoping they will continue to be gushed over. Or, you think of yourself and feel a little guilty about some 'humility' you have shown.
This draws an end to my blogging this semester. I will probably get back on from time to time to add more thoughts. I have enjoyed sharing my thoughts about different quotes, along with life experiences that have gone along with the quotes. Hopefully, they caused you to think through your actions and seriously evaluate why you do what you do. I've been challenged this semester and have been stretched past some of my personal comfort zones. But, that isn't a bad thing because that means I'm growing and changing. To my fellow classmate bloggers, I hope you've enjoyed my blog. To other readers, I hope to continue sharing my thoughts with you. For now, I must bid you farewell.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Why are you laughing?

“Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I love to laugh. I love jokes, funny stories, funny actions, and funny people. Laughter is something I resort to when I'm not completely confident in a situation. If someone is having a rough day, I make it my goal to either cheer them up, or let them talk about it (which is another topic altogether). The things most people laugh about show what their conduct is. There can be a variety of conclusions from their laughter.

I tend to laugh at people when they do or say something stupid. Part of that is because I do stupid stuff all the time and can empathize with them. The other part is because I tend to need to work on my compassion skills. Don't get me wrong. I try to be sympathetic and listen, but if it's their own fault they are in that mess, I don't feel sorry for them. Hence, my laughter.

I'm one of those people who watch the fail movies on youtube. I laugh so hard because these people should realize the end result of their actions! I mean, if you're going to skateboard down a rail, chances are you are not going to make it to the end and you will hurt yourself- in a not so good place.

Another thing people show their character through laughter is the type of jokes they laugh about. Politically incorrect, discrimatory of any topic, and more show that you don't really care about harming these people. I realize that some of those jokes are funny, like the blonde jokes. But, when jokes are made about handicapped people or different races, it crosses a line.

Sometimes, you can't help but laugh, you might say. I agree ten thousand percent! I've laughed at jokes being said and later wondered why I laughed. It wasn't that funny as a joke, but the way the person said it was hysterical. Some people just have the gift of turning anything into a comedy.

I am a nervous laugher. I laugh when I'm in situations that are kind of awkward. The other day I was eating dinner with some friends when a man walked up to us. He was making bunny ears for one of the guys in my group. Thinking this was strange, I snickered. The man then went on to talk to us about random things for about twenty minutes. I'm not sure if the man was completely lucid or had some mental difficulties. The strange topics and the way he came up were so bizarre that I was fighting laughter. I felt bad for laughing at the man because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. But, if some complete stranger does bunny ears to your friend, I don't know how else you can react.

I have used joking and laughter in some serious situations. A couple friends will try to talk about something serious and I'll make a joke. They'll laugh, which makes me want to continue. After a bit, I focus on what they are saying and try to maintain the level of gravity they have in the situation.

These different ways of laughing and situations you do it in, show what type of person you are. Are you compassionate? Do you care for those different then you? Are you seeking attention away from the topic at hand? Laughter is an important part of life. I use it daily. Hopefully, my laughter shows what is important to me, and helps others know my character.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Who is in control?

“Beware the tyranny of the minority.”
~Latin proverb

I should probably define what I think the words 'minority' and 'tyranny' mean. I think that minority is less than half of a particular group that are of a different stance on a particular issue. Tyranny, for the purpose of this quote, can be a person who manipulates a system or rule to better them. Having defined these words, I'll explain why I agree with this quote.

Each person has been a tyrant. Go to a local day-care center and watch the children. Yes, you were like that too. Yes, you pouted when you didn't get your way. Manipulation and tyranny can be hand-in-hand for a child. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I go to the store and see children throwing tantrums. The minority is the child. The tyranny is the actions of the child wanting some candy. The child gets angry because they don't get what they want and start manipulating the parent to get what they want. The worst parents are the ones who give it to the child to appease them.

The minority can be for something as large as an ethnic group, or as small one person. In America, we practice our 'right' of speaking up when we don't agree with something. (Personally, I call it complaining.) It's when the smaller section of the group doesn't get what they want, that problems start to occur. One example could be a group project for a high school. One section of a class might want to do something different than the rest of the class. They state their opinion, and if they aren't listened to, they fight for 'their rights' and try to change it to benefit themselves.

I've had a philosophy in my life that goes well with the quote at the beginning of the post. "The minority is always the majority". If you think about it, it's true. If there is a majority vote, and the minority complains enough, there are new rules made. It kind of bothers me. Obviously, the majority felt a certain way. When those in charge decide to help out the small part of the group and make rules specifically for them, it dismisses the desires of the majority. I think to myself, what's the point of having a vote if it's not going to determine a change based on the group as a whole. The minority is not the group as a whole.

I think that if we are going to try to make decisions that affect others, we should try to help everyone. But, if only a small percentage of a group is not in accord with the others, you can't please everyone. It benefits the group if you listen to what the overall group is saying.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Easter time

The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances.
~Robert Flatt

Easter is a great time of year. I always enjoy getting together with my family. Growing up, my dad would hide our Easter baskets throughout the house and we would have to find it before getting ready for church. My favorite part, though is going to church for the service. Easter is such an important memorial day for me. It's the day that I remember the resurrection of Jesus and how important that is to my faith.

Many people just think about the candy or the new outfits. Those are all really cool stuff. The actual reason for the holiday is for Jesus raising himself from the dead. I can't wait for Sunday! The choir sings great songs, the congregation gets to sing, and the pastor does a good sermon. Normally the Easter account is talked about, but my pastor switches it up sometimes.

I think it's good to celebrate different holidays and think back on events. We celebrate Easter as well as Good Friday. Some people don't like to sit and think in depth, but I believe it is a good thing to reflect on the important things. Easter is one of those examples.

Operation: Encouragement

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
~ Albert Schweitzer
As the semester wraps up, it can be easy to start stressing about classes, projects, finals, and summer plans. I know that I've had a couple stressful weeks and I know I'm not alone. I think what makes the most difference is the people around you and if they encourage you.

Encouragement can be through so many outlets: a friendly hello, a phone call, a present, etc. It may seem like a little thing, but it could make the other person's day. My church college group has this event called Encouragement Week. We do these once a semester, usually towards the end. We sign up to be involved and receive a name. The cool thing about this is that the person you get has no idea you have them! You get a list of things they enjoy, their email, and their address and the sneaking begins. You can create fake email sites and send encouraging emails; you can buy them cool stuff and drop it off at their doors, and so much more.

I have participated in this for three semesters. Each time I was blown away by the kind words said and the frequent gifts. I had one person drop off a package at my workplace for me to get after they left. I've had the doorbell go off, and realizing it was my secret encourager person, I took off running to catch them. The adrenaline is so sweet when you are doing knock and drops. One semester, my encourager had a theme of using a basketball player writing me notes and sending me random gifts. I would try so hard to figure out who it was, but I never could.

My part in the Encouragement Week was fun. I didn't make a fake email account. I would primarily do knock and drops. This past semester I scared someone, though. I wasn't sure which entrance to put their gift on, so I called them on a friend's phone. I masked my voice and said to go out to their porch. They hung up the phone. Figuring I freaked them out, I quickly grabbed my phone, hoped they didn't have my number, and called again. I used my normal voice, said I was sorry for scaring them, and quickly said there was something for them on the porch. Suffice to say, I won't use different voices on the phone again.

Finally, at the end of a mysterious, fun week, we reveal ourselves to our encouragee in a group assembly. It is so funny to see who received what, who was behind all the goofy stuff, and who got caught. I know that Encouragement is an awesome idea for groups of people, and I can't wait for it in the next couple weeks. But, having a set week isn't the only way you can encourage someone.

I had a test I was kind of worried about and stressing over. One of my friends texted me to see if I could stop studying for a bit. She had a funny story to tell me. So, she called me up, told me the story, and could tell by my response that I was slightly preoccupied- stressing, is probably a better translation. She then offered to help me study. Since this was a Spanish test, and she is taking Chinese, I didn't think she would be able to help. She started naming random Spanish words, I humored her by translating them, and suddenly I realize the theme to the words. She was doing a song from Veggie Tales! She started to sing a small part of the song, and I busted out laughing. "The Dance of the Cucumber" is a song about a cucumber and a tomato. It is random, yet hysterical to me. It made me relax a little bit. She texted me some of the lyrics the next day, again, cracking me up.

Little things like that make my day. A friend got me an ice cream cone the other day and it totally made me happy. The flip side is doing things to encourage others. When my friends have exams, I try to text them before their exam and tell them I hope they do well. It's a way to let them know someone is thinking of them and praying they will do well.

Think of some things you can do to help someone through the last weeks of this semester. It can create some memories or create some smiles. Either way, it's a fun way to help someone out.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Stick to it

"If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life?"
~Harvey Fierstein

Have I grown sentimental in my old (alright, not quite ancient) age? Or have the seemingly small things become more important? Think back to when you were a child. There weren't many things that made you cry from an abstract point of view. Ideas weren't emotionally taxing. But, as you grow older, some things grow more important, if not the idea of them. Commitment is one of them.

I was watching the final episode to the television series ER. That show has been known to occasionally bring tears. I was not prepared for tonight's finale. There was an elderly man who came in with a bedridden wife. She was going to die and he didn't want her to. The doctor explained that keeping her alive on more drugs and ivs would prolong her pain. I don't think I'll ever forget what the old man said. He looked back at the doctor, and said with a cracking voice, "I'm not ready for her to die." I have to say tears were streaming after that. When other people start crying, I start welling up too. So, when the old man started crying later on, or talking about how he hasn't looked at another woman since meeting his wife in sixth grade, I was gone. The last part for him was showing him lying next to his deceased wife in her hospital bed, just stroking her hair.
His dedication to her was so evident. He loved her and wasn't going to let her go through death alone. His brokeness was so touching.
Why is this important? It made me think about how cool it is to see that type of commitment. Being with someone for that long and being faithful for that long is a milestone. It made me think of a couple in my old church. She always called her husband "my sweetheart", even when they were well into their eighties. I would always smile when hearing them talk about each other.

Commitment is something taken very lightly. Most couples, friends, and families break apart after short amounts of time. When you were younger, you didn't worry about saying things that could offend or cause someone to not want to be around you anymore. Commitment was such a simple concept.

As a child, I didn't worry about my family leaving each other or my parents cheating on each other. I still don't worry about that because I know their commitment is just as strong as that old couple. Their faith is a huge part of their marraige and has helped them stay committed. My parents have joked that after seventy-five years of marraige, they will renegotiate. It's pretty definite that after that amount of time they won't want to look for someone else. I know that they've had hard times like everyone else. But they chose to stick with their commitment.

I know that its easy to make a commitment and not stick with it. It's hard. You might not feel like it. But, feelings are so fickle that they can't be trusted. You have to choose to stick with everyone. Commitment is worth all the hard times. This is proven by that old man in the ER episode. She wasn't alone, even at the end, because they chose to stick with each other. It will always be worth it.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Who said what?

“Whoever gossips to you will gossip of you.”
~Spanish proverb

Ok, I have to admit that this one stepped on my toes. My feet are crushed. I tend to be a little naive about people. I think that if I am doing the right thing, then no one will say anything wrong about me or I will be perfectly respected. WRONG!

I've noticed that people will talk about each other so readily. It shocks me sometimes. I will be in a conversation with Bill and David about something when they start talking about Susan. Two hours later, when David has left, Bill starts talking about David. What is wrong with this picture? I get very confused as to what people's true opinions are. I've been in conversations where very scathing things were said. My reply to them is normally along the lines of asking what they say about me when I'm not around. They very quickly try to assuage my fears by exclaiming how much they love me and wouldn't say anything about me and all sorts of other nonsense. I think, "Yeah right."

I guess I can't exclude myself from this. It is very easy to get sucked into conversations full of disparaging comments. People can be downright brutal in their comments. My reply to this is to try to change the subject or bring up good points about this person. You are going to be irritated by other people and want to share it with your friends. But, you have a choice. You can continue to dwell on it and share it with more people to make the other person look bad, or come to terms with it, apologize to the other person if it has harmed their reputation, and move on.

My point in choosing this quote is to re-warn people about those who gossip. You can get in a conversation with another person, but what is stopping them from talking about you? It is very probable that if they are willing to talk about their 'friends', they will be willing to talk about you. There are those who think, "Oh, well I don't have any dirt they can drag up." Good job!

One last point I would like to make is about those gossiping. Do they really think the person listening will keep it to themselves? I've seen so many people whine about things, only to be told on and end up getting in trouble.

I think no one is truly safe. Once you say something, it's out there and can, as my Mom says, "come back and bite ya in the butt". Be careful who is gossiping to you. They just might say stuff about you too.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Do you think before speaking?

"It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt." ~Unknown

I have to say that this is a common occurrence with me. I tend to blurt something out and not think about it beforehand. Or I will unintentionally lend credit to the fact that I can be an idiot. I guess it could mostly be because I think through something and ask a question that makes sense to me... but not to anyone else. I call these 'Duh moments'. Either I am saying it about someone else, or others are saying it about me. Let's look at some Duh moments.

Duh moment #1: I was watching tv with my family and we were talking about people's names. Some names are blatantly Dutch, French, English, etc. I was saying how someone's name looked Dutch and my sister said it looked German. I got to thinking where they were geographically. I started thinking about what countries could be around them and I blurted out, "Is Holland still a country?" My dad looked at me, chuckling, and said, "Still a country? Did someone go and take them over?" Translation: "Seriously? Is this really a question worth spending brain power on?"

Duh moment #2: When I am thinking through something, and make the mistake of talking in the midst of this, I misspeak. I tend to pronounce words wrongly. I was at work, and was telling my manager we needed to buy some more oregano for some of our food. Well, I was mixing up some things, and totally mispronounced oregano. It totally sounded like I was trying to say origami with a "n-o" at the end. My manger laughed at me- really hard.

Duh moment #3: My general manager was complaining about a headache and proceeded to tell me the reason. The lid to the dumpster had been blown backwards and was jammed against the wall. She went out to try and pull it free. She crouched beneath the lid, put both hands up to raise up and push it, and started to stand up. Well, her plan didn't work out too well. She popped up really quickly and didn't think to move her hands quick enough. Her head met the lid before her hands, which caused her headache. My co-worker whispered to me later, " How do you do that? How do you not think to move your hands to get there before you head?" Suffice it to say, my manager thought she had a concussion because her headache stayed for a couple days. She asked my co-worker if her pupils were really small. My co-worker said that they didn't look freakishly small, which caused my manager to start to freak out that they were a little small. My co-worker proceeded to tell her that if she had a concussion, then her pupils would be dilated, not smaller. This caused some ease for my manager and cemented the thought that she was not above duh moments.
These are just a couple of duh moments in the past week or two. There have been many times when I've been looked at and I know they are thinking, "Why are you wasting precious oxygen with your prattle?" Oh well. I hope to add humor to other's lives by my entertaining duh moments.

Swish= He scores!

"(Words of a loser) It's only a game..."
~Derrick Halback

March Madness is in full swing and it's hard not to get excited. Favorite teams are chosen, televisions are the hub of activity, and schedules are cleared for the many games to be played. I have to admit it is one of my favorite times of the school year. I love just sitting there watching teams battle it out and watching sweet moves!

This year I seriously filled out a bracket. I was quite proud of myself that I picked thirteen of the sweet sixteen right. My enthusiasm was dampened though when I talked to a family who had fifteen right. I don't really care! I can't wait for the games tonight and Friday. I have to admit that although I go to Purdue, Purdue isn't my favorite basketball team. They are good and I cheer for them, but my devotion lies with North Carolina. I'll admit I've been disappointed with their season, since they should have gone undefeated, but I'm cheering loudly whenever they are on (which is Friday night at 10!).

I've been yelled at by several of my friends for not showing much Purdue pride. I've even gone so far as to say I would buy dinner if Purdue won a certain game. They ended up winning and I was out a couple dollars. I have come a long way since then, even hoping they win past what I had on my bracket. But if it came down to it, if Purdue and North Carolina were the Final Two, I would have to cheer for my Tar Heels... and look for new friends since mine would hate me.

The reason I chose the quote for this post is because I have mixed feelings with the 'it's just a game' mentality. It seems like an excuse to slack off and not try. I believe in giving your all to whatever you are doing. If a ball is rolling towards out of bounds, you dive for it. It doesn't matter if you could scrape your knees or get a couple bruises. The goal is to work as hard as you can.

Another way of thinking of 'it's only a game' is that it shouldn't be the sole purpose of your life. Relationships are important; family is important; church is important; jobs are important, etc. I realize sports take up a lot of time; I played them too. My dad would always say to me, "Right now, school should be your focus, then basketball, then work. You have to look beyond this season and see what will help you later in life." I would put them in the order of basketball, work, and school. But, I realized I would always work. School was needed so I could go on with my life. Basketball was fun, gave me different lessons for life, but was only a short term activity.

I give my all to whatever I am in. It is a waste of your time to just do it partway and it doesn't help your teammates or coworkers. If you keep the mentality that you try your hardest in whatever you do, you will achieve more then you thought you could. Even if you fail, you will be admired for you perseverance.

Friday, March 13, 2009

People= Men and Women

One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man.
~Marlo Thomas

I have to say this is a quote I don't quite agree with. I have had a class that is going over gender and sexism. I will admit quite freely that I am sick to death of women whining about not being equal to men. I want to take this post to disprove some of the pro-feminist arguments.

One of the examples I hear very often is that women are stereotyped. Yes, they are.... but so are men! Have these women ever heard about jocks? Have they thought about stereotypical jobs? Have they thought about when certain words are used, they have a male connotation? Yes there are stereotypes everywhere. Blondes, single mothers, specifically dressed women, and more are so stereotyped. But stereotyping is universal, not specific to one gender.

Another 'problem' against women is how men degrade them. Women are thought of as sex objects. I hate to break it to the feminists, but what is it you are thinking when a really attractive man walks by? Do you not make comments about his muscles, his dreamy smile, or other such comments? Yes, women can be exploited by men. But don't let yourself be! Don't let other people dictate how you dress (provocatively or inappropriately) or getting into unwise situations.

This past year was an election year. I watched how the political feminists were cheering on Hillary Clinton. They were so excited for her to become president, finally have someone in the White House, and women's thoughts to be heard. When Hillary lost, women were crushed and angry. When Sarah Palin came into the picture, I thought everyone will be head over heels in love with this woman. Here is a woman who works in the government, is a well rounded person, is raising a family, and has done a fantastic job in Alaska. I thought this would be their dream come true. WRONG! They couldn't stand her! I was floored! Everything they wanted was being represented in this woman. This goes to prove that feminists don't know what they really want and they change their minds often.

Being a woman, I am ashamed of these ploys to gain power. I have always said that the minority is always the majority. When there is a group of people lobbying for something, they will be overrepresented by the media or themselves. In this case, women are quick to point out when something is sexist or against feminine roles. I feel bad for men actually because they can't say anything without fear of being labeled a bigot. They can be exploited and nothing would be done because they are 'the males and need to man up'.

Honestly, I think that there have been times women have been/are exploited. I keep in mind though that men are taken advantage of as well. If we all focused on just doing our jobs and using those that are the most capable, then there wouldn't be any problem.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tears are good things

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love.”
~ Washington Irving

There is a theory that men should not cry. Well, no one should cry. It shows you are weak, emotional, and immature. I think it shows quite the opposite. Crying can be a release for your very being and it can be one of the happiest gestures you can possess.

Let me start with the theory of not crying. I've heard a couple guys say it is weak. I was floored when they said this to me. I know that when I've seen men cry I have admired them. I had never seen my grandpa cry until two summers ago. My grandpa is a rather gruff man, who chops wood, is in great shape for an eighty year old, and won't allow for laziness. My family was packing up our stuff to move and a lot of our family was there to see us off. It was a very emotional time for us all, very tear filled. My grandpa tried asking my uncle to pray for us as we set off, and started crying. It amazed me- and made me cry. It showed his love for us in a totally different way than I had ever seen.

Tears can be uncomfortable. I know I feel at a loss when some people cry, but with my friends and family, I just want to hold them close. I want to fight off whatever is hurting them. I think that tears are also a way of saying you trust someone. I don't trust everyone with my tears. It is a very vulnerable thing to do. You don't know how someone will react.

Tears can also be happy. How many weddings, graduations, birthdays and more have gone on with people crying? I'm a sap. I have cried at several weddings and it wasn't because I was sad for the bride or groom. I was so happy for them and I couldn't let it out in another way. Well, I guess I could have whooped and hollered, but I'm guessing I would've gotten a couple dirty looks. Just a thought.

One of my friends recently got engaged. I love this girl so much and was so excited for her. I had tears in my eyes because I was so proud of her and excited for the coming nuptials. I think it means a lot to the other person when they see how happy you are, even if it includes tears.

Tears are a good thing all the way around. You can feel such relief by just sitting somewhere and crying over some hard things in your life. Sometimes, it's even better with a friend there to show support. Other times, tears are such a healthy way to show happiness. Don't worry about offending the other person. They will probably be just as happy, even if you have a couple tears.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Work, work, work

Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun.
~Colleen C. Bassett

Work is something that everyone has to do. It is talked about as a nuisance and a pain. I would like to show you some of the ways work is fun. It all has to do with your attitude.

I work at a restaurant. I will admit that it is a pain at times, but then again, what can't be? Dealing with customers, dealing with coworkers and managers, figuring out work scheduling with school, and dealing with the inevitable stress that comes along with it. Sounds awful right? If that's the way of thinking about it, yes it would be horrible. But, if you think of it as an opportunity to better your social skills, your teamworking skills, time management skills, and coping with life pressures, then you will enjoy work.

In order to enjoy work, you need to be flexible. Your coworkers will disappoint and not get the job done. Your manager will handle situations wrong. Customers will be downright rude and annoying. You will feel tired of doing it. It is so important to look past nonperfection. I'm not saying to be a doormat. I'm saying you have to allow for the bad things.

Another thing that is important is your work relationships. You have to have fun. My coworkers and I do so many fun things throughout the week. We try to lock each other in the cooler, we try to sneak up from behind scare each other.

One of my favorite times I had at work was Christmas Eve. We were closing early so the same team that opened the store was closing it. As the work day was winding down, we all started to get a little silly. Ice was the weapon. I had several pieces of ice shoved in the back of my shirt. The bad part about that was that my shirt was tucked in. So the piece of ice was stuck in my shirts and melted there. This caused a big wet spot on my pants... and you can guess what it looked like. I was later on sprayed by our pre-wash sprayer. It wasn't a big spray, though. I quickly grabbed the other sprayer and hosed down my coworker. He stood there for awhile, thinking I was just going to quickly spray him. But, revenge is so sweet and I couldn't help but keep spraying him... for a long time. Eventually he got the fact that I wasn't going to stop until he moved. he ended up being soaked. It was highly entertaining.

At another restaurant I worked at, we had fun with our headsets. We would press our buttons to talk to each other when the customers weren't in the drive thru. We would sing songs back and forth. One night I started quoting lines from Forrest Gump. It was also useful to talk smack to people when they were in the back rooms.

It is very important to make sure you are treating the customer well. I have always tried to greet the customer with a smile and try to make them smile. The ultimate challenge is to make them laugh. The regular customers are fun to joke around with. And the customer always
appreciates feeling important.
Work can be a good or bad experience. Hopefully, some of these stories have helped you gain an insight into how you can make work fun. By smiling, or playing pranks on other coworkers, you can make your day go better.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Do you really mean that?

“It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.”
~Henry Louis Mencken

I don't care who you are; this has happened to you. You look at your friend and think, "I bet they're lying about that." I've had many instances where I think the other party is lying because it would be so difficult to be truthful in that circumstance.

One of my friends and I were having a pretty serious conversation the other day. We were asking how the other felt about the topic and I have to admit it was hard to believe my friend. I know her well enough that her answer didn't match up with what I knew she was like. But, she insisted she wasn't lying and I chose to believe her.

I think not many people are willing to see past their own ideas, and just believe the other person. It's hard. I know I would want to just make light of the situation or fudge on the answer a little bit. But, I have to believe that my friend was being truthful. I trust her enough to believe her over my own feelings.

It is so key in relationships to believe the other person. I will admit I have not been completely honest about my feelings at times. So I know that it is very easy to lie about your answers. It is easy to lie about your feelings on topics or arguments. It takes hard work to purpose to believe what you feel is untrue.

I have had friends who would look me in the eye and say, " ok, why aren't you being honest anymore?" I guess I reach a point where I give 'pat-answers', answers that are generic and not heartfelt. And I know that there are times they purpose to take me at my word. I do the same for them.

Basically, it is a choice whether or not you will believe one another. It is harder to choose to believe when you would lie in their place, but in the long run it helps your relationships grow stronger.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Spread a little sunshine!

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
~Winston Churchill
You never know when someone is watching. You never know what affects those around you. Your actions could make or break someone's day. Are those things we consider as we go along each day? Do we stop and think about our impact on those around us?

I am the type of person who wants everyone to be happy with me. So, when someone exhibits displeasure with me, I take it personally and work hard to rectify the situation. One example is when getting honked at. It really ticks me off when people honk at me- especially when there is no reason for it. I was at a car garage, waiting for the machine to print off my parking stub/ticket, and the car behind me honks! I tried to hurry and get out of everyone's way, but was rather perturbed by my lack of control and his impatience. That experience put a bit of irritation in my otherwise pleasant day.

Working in a restaurant gives me all sorts of attitudes and people to deal with. There have been numerous occasions when I would put on a smile in reply to rudeness. The times I enjoy work the most are when the customer is polite and thankful. I am helping them, but they don't act as if they are entitled to it. I love it when some of the customers just say thank you and appreciate the work that is done for their dinner. I've had several people call me "ma'am". Those that are polite cause happiness to my day.

The unpleasant flip side to polite customers is the rude customers. I've had so many different people complain about prices, complain about not getting service quick enough, and try to sweet talk their way out of paying for extras. I'm sorry, but a lot of the stuff people complain about is the things I cannot change. Prices are made by corporate, not even my boss. I'm sorry about your 'bad' service, but I'm not the one who gave you that service. And I don't try to cheat my company when you add extras to your meal. I will make you pay for it. If you don't like the price, then don't add extras. It's very simple- at least for me.

When these people act this way, it really affects my day. I don't try to take it personally, but rudeness is always hard to swallow. I know it's not always stemmed from my workplace. It comes from their workplace. I always try to be polite to them so they can have a bright spot in their day. I know I always remember a smiling face when at the store or a resaurant.

Think about when you are going through your day. When do you get upset with those around you? Place yourself in their shoes and think how you would feel. Then purpose to be cheerful. It takes effort sometimes, but is well worth it. You never know how your politeness could boost up those around you.

Monday, February 23, 2009

La la la la la

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
~Victor Hugo

Music has been a huge part of my life. I've been surrounded by it and immerse myself into it whenever possible. I think music conveys something much deeper than words. Some things cannot be spoken, just felt.

Growing up, my parents always had music on. If you were to watch home videos, there would be cds going on in the background. My mom has played the piano for almost 40 years and has taught for over 20. This experience brought a love of music to all her children, with all of them taking piano at some point. My dad has been the song director at a couple churches and has teamed with my mom to create the order of service on Sunday church services. This is how I developed a greater appreciation for music. I didn't just listen to it; I evaluated it, enjoyed it, and understood the work gone on to create the piece.

Not many people just sit and listen to music. They will use it as a background to what they are doing. Words are added to make songs, which can complement the music. But, how many people let plain music just wash over them?

The reason I started thinking about the essence of music is because of watching a movie yesterday. I know, you may be thinking movies definitely do not have just music-all the time. I was watching Braveheart when my sister commented on the music. I stopped focusing on the actions of the people and started listening to the music. It was gorgeous! The really cool thing is how the music transcended above any words that could've been spoken. There were several instances where no words were said and the music was all that was there to evoke emotion. One example is when William Wallace saw his wife in the crowd right before his death. The voices died down as the music swelled. No words were shared, yet you feel so many emotions evoked from the music. Compassion, love, joy, sorrow- these are some of my feelings in this short exchange.

Does music make people cry? Does its beauty stop people in their tracks? My mom plays beautifully and at times I just sit next to her piano and listen. I also watch the music and turn her pages. There have been many songs that I would just stand there and feel tears come to my eyes. I can't really explain it but music can create so many feelings. Yearning, praise for my Savior, happiness, sadness, and dancing can be aroused from simple melodies.

These simple melodies can permeate into your everyday life. Who doesn't occasionally start humming to a song? At my workplace, I hum or whistle everyday while doing my various tasks. Music is such a big part of my life and I know that I'm not alone in that respect. Think about how music affects you and how it can create different moods. It's so amazing how much impact music creates.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

We are family

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts.
~Author Unknown

I think this author could've been me; this fits my family like a glove. I love my family so much. We are very unique, yet held together by bonds stronger than we think we could have. However, we are weird. At least, we do weird things.

The person that started it all is my dad. He likes to have fun with his kids. For as long as I can remember, he has made me laugh. He made up songs for all four of us and would sing them when we went to bed. Some of the things he does aren't so cute. He loves to make fun of songs. He makes up little ditties, or makes up new words to songs. Most of the times they make everyone laugh. There are the occasional songs I like that my dad has tried to ruin, though.
My dad does other funny things. He sometimes uses funny voices to add a new 'depth' to the conversation. Those voices can mimic movie characters, like Forrest Gump, or just make up some hilarious accent.

My mom is a little nutty, but she is mild compared to the rest of the family. Her children bore the brunt of this strangeness. My siblings and I have started coming up with our own songs, making up family inside jokes, and yes, the occasional voices.

I can't really explain all that makes us a little nutty. When we all sit down for dinner, we are normally there for a while because of our conversations. We talk about funny stories, add movie quotes throughout the conversations, and laugh. We laugh so often. Beverages have been spewed regularly, probably on a weekly average as a result of this laughter. We randomly burst into song. These are a couple examples of what we do in our house.

Even though we are all silly, these little things express our love for one another. One example would be when I was younger. My parents would occasionally come into my room when I was waking up, and sing a wake up song. This was incredibly irritating to me since I like to wake up on my own. But, I know that they were just having fun and loving me through my grouchiness.

My family shows our love through the little things, as well as the big. My family has been there for each other through dead pets, bad grades, lost friendships, basketball games, and more. My family is more than just family; they are friends. I don't know many people who just open up to their parents over everything. I don't know many siblings who enjoy hanging out.

Now it's out there. These are just a few of the not-so-normal things we do. We love each other more because of these strange habits. Now it's up to you. Think through your family activities when you were growing up. Did you do things that were abnormal? I like to think that every family does fun stuff. But I've gotten the impression that my family goes above and beyond normal. We have some 'nuts'. The question I now pose is: Are these things truly weird?

Monday, February 16, 2009

No? No? What does that mean?

A soft refusal is not always taken, but a rude one is immediately believed.

~Alexander Chase

Alexander Chase must have had children, at least, for the first part of the quotation. As far as the second part goes, rude can also mean firm. When one answers timidly and not at all assertively, then one is taken advantage of. But, when one answers confidently, the listener believes them.

If any of you have ever dealt with children, you know of what I speak. The child is doing something he shouldn't be doing, moreover he knows he shouldn't, and you try to intervene. You intervene several times and each time goes along the same lines. "Johnny, why don't you play with the ball outside?" "No, Marie, you shouldn't be hitting your sister." Shouldn't? Why don't you? What type of commands are these? If the child is repeatedly ignoring your instruction, you need to kick it up a notch. "Johnny, I've told you several times to play outside. If you do it again, you can't have that ball for the rest of the evening." The good overseer will follow through with that punishment, not just make empty threats.

In no way am I saying punishment is the only option. But, I think several people are scared of their children and won't discipline them for recurring wrong. A firm answer is needed. The word 'no' doesn't have to be used; use the right tone and express your wishes so the point gets across.

This quote can also be used in relationships between adults as well. I've been in numerous conversations when my friends try to get me to do something I don't want to do. An example would be when we went to Cedar Point this past summer. I don't care for rollercoasters, especially ones with corkscrews and loops. My friends asked repeatedly for me to go on a ride with them, and all my responses were weak. I got pulled onto the Millenium Force, which is the tallest one in the park, for my first roller coaster ride EVER!!! Needless to say, I was a little shaky after the ride. I enjoyed the ride, but then realized the importance of a firm, if not rude answer. I did NOT want to go on The Dragster!

Rude replies give the answer, but don't get the desired response. When asking someone if they wanted to go watch a movie, they replied in the negative- with a negative attitude. I thought, "Whoa, ok, I won't ask you again! Sorry for bothering you."
I definitely see several ways to take this quote. I know my post hasn't included all the possibilities, but that is on purpose. My hope is that my thoughts are not the only way to delve into this quote. This coming week I have purposed to be assertive in my answers. Maybe I'll see other ways this quote is carried out.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I wonder what they're thinking about me...

"We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do."
~Olin Miller

This is a common worry. People want to impress those around us. The hard part is guessing when the other person is actually paying attention to what you do. So, you have to safeguard every movement, every clothing article, and act perfectly so no one can think bad of you. Want to know a secret? They probably aren't paying attention! They don't think about everything you do!

I struggle with keeping a level head in some situations. My car is a loud car. It rumbles and squeaks and generally makes noises. I'll drive down the road and see people turn their heads. "What is that hideous sound? Who would drive a car so loud?" At least, I think that's what they are thinking. One day I was driving one of my friends to an activity. We stopped at a light and the car next to me stopped as well. A girl in the passenger seat looked over at me, made eye contact, and turned away laughing. "She's laughing at my loud car!" I exclaimed. My friend looked at me in disbelief and asked if I actually thought she was laughing at me. In other words, they don't really care; it's not about you. I had to admit they were probably not even thinking about me or anything to do with me.

It may sound pathetic, but it is easy to confuse reality and paranoia. If you are sitting somewhere, and people look at you and laugh, its easy to think they are laughing at you. It may just have been a passing glance, or their companion said something funny. Chances are those people haven't thought or spoken about you at all.

As you've been writing your posts, you have deleted sentences and reworded thoughts because of the perception of the reader. How will they take that comment? Will they think I'm a shallow person? In all reality, I have no idea if anyone will read this post. So I will write what I think without the basis of peer criticism. My thoughts shouldn't be changed because of possible mockery or fear of upsetting people. Yes, the temptation is there, and I heed to it a lot. I can only work harder to not care about other people's thoughts.

Basically, we think people think about us all the time. In reality, we probably aren't in their thought process at all. We should live our lives without the thought of being under a microscope. There would probably be a difference in how we go through each day.

Don't hate me 'cuz I'm beautiful

"Rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together"
~Petrarch [Francesco Petrarca]

When I read this quote, I think of all the 'beautiful' people I've known. The prettiest girl in class, the cute jock, the favorite actor: all of which were beautiful on the outside. But, were they necessarily beautiful on the inside?

There is a new television show called "True Beauty". The premise of this show is to put physically attractive people through tests to see who is truly beautiful on the inside. The catch is that the contestants think it's all about their outer beauty. I have to admit, when I first heard of the show, I thought it was a shallow, dumb waste of airtime. But, I watched the first episode on a whim with some friends. I was hooked. I found it so funny! All these gorgeous people were complaining and shallow.

Many of you might not understand how they could not know. I had my doubts too, but after watching, it is clear these people are oblivious to these hidden challenges. One example could be their clothes challenge. In groups of three people, each group had $100 to buy complete outfits for their group. The challenge was to see who looked the best using scant supplies. I was floored when each group used their beauty to get free clothing or discounts. One group went as far as claiming to be a charity for cancer so they would get money from people. The judges put a secret challenge out to test their inner beauty. They positioned a charity sitting on a corner that was collecting donations. The test was to see who would put money in the box. A simple task, but not done by everyone.

Another example is their attitude towards those around them. They make comments about how they are the most beautiful, how the judges think they are gorgeous, and complain about their challenges. I think, seriously? If I was the most beautiful, according to the judges, I wouldn't be bragging about it to my competition! I would still want help from my potential teammates in future challenges!

These are people in the spotlight though. What about the average 'beautiful' person? What about the high school prom queen, or the star quarterback? When you think about those people, do you remember any inner beauty? I've known some pretty girls who were not self-absorbed. They were kind to others, honest, and hard-working. I think that isn't the norm, just like Petrarch suggested.

I knew this guy, let's call him George, who was a school favorite. He was a star basketball player, a star soccer player, and attractive too. All the young girls fawned over him if he so much as glanced in their direction. And he knew it! That's what started the loss of fascination for me. When he knew he was attractive, he thought he could slide by on some accounts. In one home soccer game, he pantsed a much younger player on his team. This might not seem like a big deal, but it was pretty upsetting to the younger player. Imagine exposing your boxers for all your peers and peers' parents to see. Embarrassment would be on my list of emotions. George was suspended. When this was found out, several people couldn't believe it- including myself. Anyone else doing it would have been suspended as well, but it was shocking to see the favorite get into trouble. Virtue, in this case, was lacking from this individual.

Beauty and virtue are hard to find together. Self gets in the way. But, to those I've known who possess both, I am happy to know it can be done. Inner beauty shines through the physical characteristics we find attractive.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Can I Believe You?

“What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you.”
~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

One of the saddest things in life is realizing you can't trust someone. Worse yet is when this distrust stems from personal injury in a relationship. You could distrust someone because of their reputation. But when you witness their dishonesty, it makes it that much harder to regain faith in them.

I was watching television at a friend's house when What I Like About You came on. This particular episode showed Holly borrowing her older sister's car (without permission). The car ended up being stolen and for the remainder of the episode, Holly is trying to lie about how it got stolen. In the end, her older sister finds out. She went on to tell Holly that she couldn't trust her because of her deception, that she wouldn't know when to believe her.

I thought that episode was a great example for this quote. Holly lied about something. But, her sister's reaction didn't just go along with the actual act of disobedience. It was more so geared towards future actions and the lack of trust for those actions. It only takes one mistake to undo years of trust.

My parents would treat lying very seriously.My mom would always say, "How can I believe you?" after one of us would lie. The hard part would be that she couldn't. The saying by Mr. Nietzsche reminds me of the old adage: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. It is hard to believe someone after they have failed you. The hardest part isn't their lie. It's worse when you think of the breach in your relationship. How do you know they are telling the truth now? What are the repercussions for the circumstances these lies produced?

It's a hard thing to reconcile with. Family and friends are the closest ones to you. We should be even more truthful with these people so trust can be evident in every situation. Yet we seem to be like Holly and decieve those very people. This quote caused me to think further about the penalties to my actions. If I can't be trusted, how can my relationships survive? Honesty is the best policy.

Monday, February 2, 2009

I win, you lose mentality

“Sports do not build character. They reveal it.”
~Heywood Broun

I one thousand percent agree with this quote. When the pressure is on, when you are put into stressful circumstances, then you know what the other person is like. You are going to play like you live your life. How you view your opponents, your teammates, and authority (coaches, referees, etc.), gives evidence to your opinion of mankind.

The impression you get of athletes comes from how they play. There was a team my school played against that we did not like. I'll call them the Eagles. We felt that the guys were arrogant and rude. One guy in particular was disliked by many. I'll call him Bob. In a tournament game, the Eagles was crushing the opposing team. So, this player, Bob, and one other player sat down on their side of the court and would not even play defense on the other team. Besides the fact that this wasn't helping their teammates, it was degrading to the other team. To treat the other team this way was unacceptable to my school. Eventually their coach caught on to what they were doing, and removed them from the court.

My team was far from perfect though. Tempers would rise over bad calls, or players would disagree with the coach. One girl received a technical because she punched the ground after a bad call. These things might be common in the sports world, but they do show you what a person is like. When people get angry about calls, it shows that anger is one of the ways they handle problems. They think that their opinion can be appreciated and respected by raising their voice. No, that might not be the exact thought process behind it. But, that's what they end up doing.

But bad character is not the only thing sports produce. The pressure from a game or the stress of the season can show how good a person's character is. When a player will listen to their coach, they show a teachability that carries into the work place or school. There was a player on our team who was always good. She never got mad, in school or basketball. She always listened to advice. Whenever she got frustrated, she didn't say anything or make a big deal about it. This showed that she would be calm in other situations and not resort to anger to get things accomplished.

You always have a favorite team to play against. Ask yourself why they are your favorite team. My favorite team was the Cougars. They were my favorite because they were honorable in their playing. They never played dirty, got in arguments with my team, or exuded arrogance. My team loved playing them because we knew that we could enjoy the game. There was competition and the fight to win, but it was a healthy type of competition. I even talked to their players after games and sat around with them during tournaments. I wasn't the only one from my team who felt that way. In my senior year, my team was in the second seed in the tournament. The Cougars were fourth and lost the first round. They ended up being last in the tournament, but they weren't angry about it. Yes, they were disappointed, but they all cheered for my team in the championship game, without jealousy. Their character shown through defeat. I know that challenged me to think about how I could be a better player.

As I look back on games, practices, and tournaments, I think about the different people I observed and how people would observe me. Sports are fun things. They do show your character and how you react to pressure. But, you can watch the progress of how people build their character. You never know who is watching and learning from your example.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Just Let Me Grieve.

“While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert it only irritates.”
~Dr. Samuel Johnson

The loss of a loved one is inevitable as your life progresses. But, grief does not just have to come from the death of a person. Grief could come from a mistake, the loss of a friendship, or numerous other things. But, surrounding that situation is the way people react to it, and you.

There are two ways most people react to grief, in my opinion. They withdraw from people, or run to people. And the response from those people shape parts of our grieving process. What I cannot stand is when people brush off the situation and refuse to show support. I have had friends who ignored me for an entire day, because something major happened in my life and they didn't want to be around sad people. They didn't even try to divert my pain; they just ignored it. I've seen people change topics, because surely the remaining family members don't want to remember their loss. When in reality, they are the ones who feel uncomfortable.

Genuine love and concern is lacking. I know I have failed to show concern and sympathy to loved ones when they are hurting. One prime example would be my sister. She had a hamster. To all you rodent lovers, you would have loved this energetic, crazy member of the mouse family. I, on the other hand, did NOT like it. So, one day my sister is just crying and crying, and I ask what happened. She said that her hamster died. Trying to show concern, I asked if she was sure and how did she know. She replied yes and pantomimed him lying on his back. I'm sorry, its awful, but I started laughing. I was sorry for her and wanted to show my support, but the pantomime was really funny. And she was not happy with me. At all. This proved Dr. Johnson right by my irritating diversion.

I like to think that I can be sympathetic, though. Just listening can be as good, if not better, then giving advice. When you start trying to distract the person from their feelings, that's when you lose your place as someone they will turn to. I have stopped telling people about important things in my life because they didn't seem to care. They probably did care, but they either wouldn't show it or tried to downplay my feelings on the matter.

The people I look back on with fondness are the ones who just let me cry or let me discuss what was going on. I played basketball in high school. We had a very important game and I fouled a girl with less than 20 seconds left in the game. This caused them to win with the two free throws from my foul. We lost the game because of my mistake. I was very upset, upset meaning angry and sad put together. I lost it and just sat in the locker room. One of my closest friends came into the locker room and just sat there with her hand on my shoulder while I got a grip. She didn't try to assuage my guilt, confront my anger, or mock my tears. She just sat. I have remembered that moment for several years because she didn't try to fix it. She didn't try to 'divert' my grief.

I think that true sympathy is needed when around grief. Think of the other person's feelings over your discomfort. Otherwise, your diversions might backfire and have their estimation of you lowered. Just being there is enough.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


“To the man that is afraid, everything rustles.”


I will freely admit it: I do NOT like scary movies. Being creeped out is not my idea of fun. What I consider 'scary' is probably very tame compared to others.

People can get scared by the movie or by the music in the movie. But no, I have to be different. Yes, those things scare me, but I am one step more pathetic then that. I get scared by the commercials! It's true. I will see a commercial come on, be helplessly sucked into watching it, and spend the next week trying not to reproduce its images in my mind. And Sophocles is correct: Everything rustles. I will jump ten feet if the furnace kicks in, start sweating when a book falls off my desk, and panic when I think I see movement in the middle of the night. Laugh all you want, but it's the honest truth.

But in all seriousness, Sophocles probably didn't mean fear of movies or scary images. My other interpretation of this quote is fear of being found out. You feel like every comment everyone makes is in reference to your hidden thoughts or actions. One example of this is the fear of police cars. Every time I see a police car, I slow down, nervously watch my rear view window to see if it follows, and speed up again when I'm further down the road. I could be going the speed limit and still slow down. That's a pretty common anxiety since no one wants a ticket. One other example could be when you've done something wrong, like telling someone's secrets to another person. Every time a reference is made about that person, or situation, you get nervous and hope the other person doesn't find out. Suddenly, every look has a double meaning, every comment seems directed at you, and "everything rustles". Eventually, in that situation, I would feel so bad about it that I would tell my friend about my big mouth.

So, I think that even though Sophocles lived a long time ago, he pretty much nailed it on the head. When afraid, whether it be of movies, people, or situations, it is easy to become jumpy over everything. Just remember, if you haven't done anything wrong, you shouldn't be worried. If you did do something wrong, then it's up to you to correct it. And if it's over something benign, like a scary movie, try to not let people pick on you too much.